Where Coaching Meets Civic Life with Adelle Wapnick

What does character have to do with democracy, coaching, and personal growth? Everything.

Adelle—a top global executive coach, founder, and scholar—joins us to explore how character is the foundation not only for strong leadership, but for shaping systems, transforming democracies, and sustaining coaching relationships.

With decades of experience leading culture and strategy in South Africa, Adelle reflects on what Nelson Mandela taught the world about leadership character—and how we can carry that legacy forward.

🧠 What you’ll hear:
 🇿🇦 Why character is essential to building a healthy democracy—especially in younger nations
 🤝 How executive coaching can be a powerful system-level tool for transformation
 📉 What institutional weakness teaches us about the need for individual integrity
 🧭 Why Mandela’s leadership was a masterclass in humility, humanity, and drive
 🔄 The contagious nature of character—and what happens when leaders model it well
 📱 How the Virtuosity program helped Adelle confront her blind spots around consistency
 🧩 The surprising depth behind “simple” virtues like candour and accountability
 ⚖️ How character can recalibrate us in moments of pressure and conviction
 💡 What it means to bring the coaching lens into everyday conversations

If you’re a coach, a systems thinker, or simply someone navigating complexity—this conversation will challenge and inspire your own journey toward character.

Resources

  •  Character Quotient Assessment in Forbes (https://www.forbes.com/sites/marycrossan/2025/03/26/from-good-to-great-10-ways-to-elevate-your-character-quotient/)
  •  Leader Character Framework with Culture, Virtues, and Vices (https://virtuositycharacter.ca/organization/storage_production_6e2934b8-3e20-47a7-aa79-59a612f967be/990340a0-9980-4919-9456-ab5640b405a0.pdf)

About Virtuosity

• Website (https://virtuositycharacter.ca/)
• Monthly Newsletter (https://mailchi.mp/virtuositycharacter/subscribe-to-the-virtuosity-monthly-newsletter)
• LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/company/virtuosity-character)
• Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/virtuositycharacter/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=)

Host, Dr Corey Crossan (https://www.linkedin.com/in/coreycrossan/), is a research and teaching fellow at The Oxford Character Project where she develops and facilitates character development programs for students, industry, and university partners. Corey’s love for elite performance developed as she competed in top-level athletics for most of her life, highlighted by competing as a NCAA Division 1 athlete. Corey translated her understanding of elite performance into a passion for helping individuals and organizations develop sustained excellence. She is also the co-founder of Virtuosity Character, a mobile software application created to support the daily, deliberate practice of character-based leadership development.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome
• 1:40 Introduction to Adelle
• 3:21 Character Matters
• 5:07 Democracy and Character
• 8:23 Systems and the Individual
• 12:21 Education, Access & Ubuntu
• 14:50 Mandela's Legacy of Character
• 19:54 Coaching as a Systemic Lever
• 25:34 The Integrity Aha Moment
• 37:07 Virtuosity App Experience
• 42:07 Character Quotient
• 49:29 Bye For Now

Transcript

Corey Crossan [00.00.09]
Every choice builds character. On the Virtuosity podcast, we explore how to make every day a rep toward excellence. I'm Corey, your host and co-founder of Virtuosity. My journey into character development began in sport, where I discovered that strengthening my character didn't just improve my performance — it transformed my entire life. Since then, I've been gripped by understanding how we can intentionally build character to fuel both personal and professional success.

At Virtuosity, we believe character is like a muscle. It needs consistent training. That's why we've built a research-based system that acts as your character gym, making character development practical, scalable, and accessible, even within the largest organizations.

On this podcast, we sit down with participants from our flagship Virtuosity program, where individuals commit to a full year of daily character development powered by Virtuosity. Our guests will share why character matters to them, how they're applying it in their personal and professional lives, and the insights they've gained along the way. We hope these conversations challenge, inspire, and equip you with new ways to integrate character into your own journey.

Subscribe to stay up to date with our weekly episodes. And if something resonates, share it with your friends and colleagues. Ready to start your own Virtuosity journey? Download the Virtuosity Character app or visit virtuositycharacter.ca to learn more. Now, let's dive into today's episode.

Hello everyone and welcome to the tenth episode of the Virtuosity podcast! If you're new, I encourage you to check out our launch episode with Mary Crossan for a powerful introduction to the series. Today, we’re thrilled to welcome Adelle Wapnick as our guest.

Adelle Wapnick was born and raised in Johannesburg, South Africa. She studied English at the University of the Witwatersrand, a university historically known for its resistance to apartheid. After completing her degrees, she began a 30-year career in advertising, co-founding her own agency. In 2014, recognising it no longer aligned with her evolving purpose, she sold the agency to Interpublic Group and transitioned into a second career as an executive coach.

Adelle completed her Master’s in Coaching and Consulting for Change through Oxford University and HEC Paris, where she connected with Professor Mary Crossan and developed a keen interest in the role of Leader Character, the topic universally researched by Prof Crossan. In 2023, US Insider named her one of the Top 3 Coaches to Watch globally. She is currently pursuing a PhD that explores the intersection of Character and Coaching - seeking to embed these ideas more deeply into organisations and institutions, particularly as South Africa continues to shape its democratic identity.

For the past decade, Adelle has also served on the board of ‘Surgeons for Little Lives’, a paediatric NGO based at the Chris Hani Baragwanath Academic Hospital in Soweto, south of Johannesburg, where she was one of its founding members. A role she considers among the most meaningful of her career.

Corey Crossan [00.03.21]
All right, Adelle Wapnick. The question I typically start with for all our guests is: Why does character matter to you?

Adelle Wapnick [00.03.29]
Thanks. I was raised by parents who were very strict, but also very progressive in a deeply unequal society. Our household had long conversations about justice, fairness, and humanity—it was always part of our daily dialogue.

So that's one angle. And then, for me personally, character matters because I believe it's the foundation of trust and respect. It shapes how I show up in the world—the choices I make, how I handle challenges, the people I surround myself with, how I treat others.

And in the end, I think it’s not really about what we achieve in life, but who we are. That, to me, defines a meaningful life well lived. So character is really the basis of everything.

Corey Crossan [00.04.19]
Yeah, that totally resonates. We’ve been talking about character as these meta-habits that influence all other habits—whether it's skills, competencies, or just... who you are is how you do everything else.

And I know your big interests around character are connected to democracy and coaching, so I want to get into both of those today. But let’s start with democracy. How do you feel character could be foundational in shaping a healthy democracy—especially in a younger democracy like South Africa?

Adelle Wapnick [00.05.07]
I think the situation is extremely complex, so I want to be careful in how I answer that.

If I compare it to places like Canada, where you're based, or the UK—those are old democracies with well-established institutions. We know they’re not perfect, but they’re generally strong and well-run.

In South Africa, we’ve transitioned from a deeply authoritarian and unjust past. That history has left us vulnerable to institutional weakness. There’s been a lot of personalization of power, a lack of independent oversight, and the mechanisms that do exist often lack robustness.

All of this has contributed to state capture and systemic corruption. So while I hesitate to say that character alone can fix that, I truly believe it’s not just helpful—it’s essential.

Integrity is a counter to corruption. Moral courage is what allows people to challenge the status quo. Justice and fairness are what we need to rebuild institutions. And humanity and humility are needed to reconnect with citizenship—because right now, many South Africans feel alienated from the state. It often feels like the state exists to serve a certain elite rather than the people.

So yes, I think character is critical for taking our young democracy forward. But I also recognize how complex the history is, and I don’t claim to have all the answers.

Corey Crossan [00.07.30]
Yeah, I really appreciate that. And what you’re talking about at the end—how it’s supposed to serve the people—is so important.

Democracy can feel abstract and system-level, and one critique of character is that it's too individualistic, that it doesn’t account for systemic issues. But systems are made up of people. And if we want to change systems, we have to change the people who shape them.

So I definitely see a role for character in enabling people to reimagine how systems work. Is that how you’re seeing it too?

Adelle Wapnick [00.08.23]
Yes, absolutely.

And if I bring it back to South Africa—even just thinking about something like Maslow’s hierarchy of needs—it’s difficult to talk about character in a society where so many are unemployed and struggling to meet basic needs like food, shelter, and education.

Sometimes character can feel like a luxury. But it shouldn’t be. Because humanity doesn’t depend on income level.

I had an experience when I worked in advertising that really shaped this for me. We had a housekeeper at the agency named Judas—he was extraordinary. We used to provide toast every morning—people could help themselves. And one day, we noticed food was disappearing.

When I asked Judas about it, he said, “No, Mama Adelle Wapnick. You don’t steal. You come and you ask.”

That stuck with me. Because here was someone who may not have had much, but his character was unwavering. So yes, I do believe people can have and live out strong character, regardless of circumstance.

But I also agree with you—systems need to support and develop character too. And that’s where coaching starts to become really powerful, which is where we’re headed next.

Corey Crossan [00.11.09]
Yeah, what you said about character being accessible to everyone really resonates.

When I was doing a program at Oxford, some students challenged the idea that character development might actually be a privilege—that people in under-resourced systems may not have the same opportunities to develop character.

And if you think about the strategies we use in our program—like having role models—well, not everyone grows up surrounded by strong exemplars. So yes, character is accessible, but the tools and opportunities to build it aren’t always equally distributed.

That’s why we created Virtuosity—to try and democratize character development. Because everyone can develop it, but not everyone has access to the same resources. It’s a tricky line to walk.

Adelle Wapnick [00.12.21]
It’s very relevant for South Africa, especially when we look at the education system.

Private education here is world-class, and our tertiary institutions are excellent. But at the grassroots level, public education is still deeply lacking. And if you don’t have the language or the framework for understanding character, it can feel inaccessible.

And yet, despite that, there are people who model character every day—without ever calling it that.

You mentioned exemplars earlier. We’ve had incredible ones in South Africa—Desmond Tutu, Nelson Mandela. If you asked me when I witnessed the most powerful display of character leadership, it was Mandela’s release from prison.

He absolutely embodied every dimension of character—integrity, humanity, justice, collaboration, humility, accountability, drive, transcendence, judgment. All of it.

He may not have been the most effective administrator—he was a lawyer, not a bureaucrat—but his vision, and the way he lived those character traits, were remarkable.

And he negotiated a peaceful transition. That could’ve easily gone the way of civil war. He dismantled apartheid not just through politics, but through the strength of his character and the people he chose to surround himself with. It was a privilege to witness.

Corey Crossan [00.14.50]
Yeah. The strength of character that Mandela had—it’s incredible.

Do you think it influenced the people around him? We sometimes talk about “character contagion”—how your own transcendence or humanity can activate that same trait in others. Did you see that ripple effect with Mandela?

Adelle Wapnick [00.15.10]
Absolutely. On the rugby field, in Parliament, in every space he entered—he had an undeniable presence. People said he had this calming, grounding energy when he walked into a room.

But he was also incredibly driven. People sometimes forget that.

Yes, he had compassion and humanity—but he also had a strong will. He wanted things to happen, and he made them happen. He had a temper when needed.

So while he was peaceful, he wasn’t passive. His accountability and drive were very high. But he always paired that with deep humanity and transcendence.

That’s what made him so effective. He had followers you’d never expect—people who had once feared or opposed him. He won them over through his behavior, not just his words.

And there were critiques. Some said he suppressed too much, that we didn’t fully celebrate our freedom because he kept things so contained. But I think he did that deliberately—to avoid civil war, to maintain peace.

His transcendence was central to everything.

Corey Crossan [00.17.10]
And for a country to elect someone like Nelson Mandela—what do you think that said about the people of South Africa at the time?

Often, when you look at a country’s leader, you’re seeing a reflection of the people who elected them. So what did South Africans see in Mandela?

Adelle Wapnick [00.17.48]
This might sound a bit less academic—but I think the people of South Africa saw themselves in him.

There’s a character to this country that’s hard to explain unless you’ve been here. The people are deeply spiritual, warm, forgiving. Ubuntu is a real thing—it means togetherness, the belief that we are who we are through others.

We talk about the rainbow nation, and that didn’t come from nowhere. It came from the spirit of the people.

I think they felt Mandela mirrored that. His integrity, his fairness, his language—it resonated. He gave them hope. He gave them someone they could trust and respect.

So in some ways, yes, he surprised them. But in others, he reflected their highest aspirations back to them. It was a kind of mutual recognition—a spiritual reciprocity.

Corey Crossan [00.19.32]
That's such a lovely way to put it—this idea of mirroring.

And I know you're exploring this in your PhD work. Would you like to share some of the questions you're thinking about pursuing in your research?

Adelle Wapnick [00.19.54]
At first, I thought I’d continue the work you and Mary have done—bring it into a young democracy and explore whether the framework might look different in Southern Africa, or even across the continent.

But then, after conversations with academics here and with you both, I started to question that approach.

It felt arrogant to think I could step into a public system as complex as ours and “fix” it through a study. It lacked humility.

So instead, I started thinking about what I know best—executive coaching. I've worked with senior leaders across South Africa for over a decade. What if character could be embedded more naturally into those coaching conversations?

Maybe that’s the path. Grow it into systems through coaching—rather than imposing it from the top down. That feels more authentic. And it may be the more sustainable way to integrate character into institutions and, eventually, into our country.

Corey Crossan [00.22.05]
What’s interesting about that approach is that by coaching high-level leaders, they begin to see the impact of character in their own lives. That can create a top-down ripple effect where they begin to embed character into their organizations.

So it’s a really interesting approach. And as you said, it draws on your deep expertise in coaching while aligning with your passions—character, democracy, development. It’s such a phenomenal idea.

Adelle Wapnick [00.22.38]
Thank you. And I’ve been watching the work you’ve done in Canada—seeing how character is being embedded in systems like firefighting and revenue services.

It’s remarkable how it’s been woven into recruitment, talent retention, leadership development—all those foundational structures.

One thing I’ve realized through this program is that character isn’t just a list of nice words—integrity, temperance, justice—it’s so much deeper than that.

And it’s hard. Even when I describe myself, I might say, “Yes, I’m someone with integrity. I’m courageous. I collaborate well.” But once you go through this program, you start interrogating those words and asking: Am I really living these out? Am I applying them consistently?

The framework pushes you to hold the mirror up in a very real way. It’s not just language—it’s a lived practice. And I think many of the leaders I coach would say the same. They have strong values, but the depth of self-inquiry required to sustain those values—especially under pressure—is something different.

Corey Crossan [00.25.06]
Absolutely. I want to keep unpacking this idea you’re bringing up—that there’s so much more depth to character than people assume.

We just wrapped up a month focusing on integrity in the program. Was there a particular behavior or insight that stood out for you?

Adelle Wapnick [00.25.34]
Yes—this month, integrity was a big one for me. Interestingly, it's the dimension I would’ve most readily associated with myself before.

I chose to focus on “consistency” as the behavior. And I had a bit of a shock.

I’m highly driven and always busy—I run a hybrid career between coaching and strategy work. I used to tell myself that being inconsistent wasn’t a flaw, it was just the reality of being in high demand.

But this month made me realize that consistency isn’t about perfection. It’s about honoring your commitments—even the small ones. Especially the small ones.

Sometimes, I deprioritize things because I don’t see them as important. But for someone else, that thing might be critical. That realization really hit me.

And then in one of the cohort sessions, I had another insight—I’m not always consistent with myself either.

Whether it’s committing to a PhD, or something as simple as exercise, I say I’ll do something, and then I rationalize why I didn’t follow through. I realized that’s a self-integrity issue.

So yes—this month was hugely impactful. I saw that consistency isn’t just about behavior toward others—it’s about how true you are to your own word, even when no one’s watching.

Corey Crossan [00.28.15]
I’m so glad. And I feel that too—even though I talk about this stuff all the time, every month surprises me. The development never ends.

We’ve talked before about character being a moving goalpost. Just when you think you’ve “got it,” you realize how much more there is to work on.

For me this month, I focused on “candor” under integrity. What was interesting was that it wasn’t just candor I was learning about—I realized that my weakness in humanity was holding back my candor.

I was afraid that being honest might come off as rude or hurtful. So I wasn’t showing up fully. That was a real aha moment for me.

It’s like the framework shows you how deeply interconnected all these dimensions are.

Adelle Wapnick [00.29.51]
Exactly. Without accountability, how do you stay consistent? Without humility, how do you receive feedback about where you’re falling short?

The dimensions balance and inform each other.

What I’m learning through the program is how layered and nuanced this really is. It’s not linear. And for me, it’s been absolutely life-changing.

There’s no question about it—it’s the most transformative personal and professional development I’ve ever done.

Corey Crossan [00.30.40]
That’s so wonderful to hear.

And I want to come back to the coaching piece now, because this is something we’re deeply exploring at Leader Character Associates—how to integrate character into coaching.

You’re already a coach, and you’re now thinking about how to embed character into your practice. If there are coaches listening, how are you envisioning that this could take form?

Adelle Wapnick [00.31.19]
I think it could become something really important—almost like a specialization. A “character coach,” if you will.

But it has to be rigorous. You can’t just attend a single session and say you’re a character coach. I think there needs to be a certification process—something like this year-long program—to truly understand the depth.

It’s about speaking the language fluently and embodying the work.

I also think we need to do more to build awareness in the coaching community—maybe through panels or forums—so coaches understand the impact this lens can have.

At the same time, I’d love to see more demand from the top—from leaders and organizations who start saying, “We want coaches who understand character.”

So it’s a twofold approach. Build the supply through training and certification. Build the demand by showing the value.

Corey Crossan [00.33.24]
And I really believe it helps if coaches are on the journey themselves. When you’re doing the work, you have such a deeper understanding of what the process feels like for others.

So now that you’re deepening your own character development, how much of that is showing up in your coaching? Even before the program, was character already a part of those conversations?

Adelle Wapnick [00.33.56]
Very much so.

I think through the years, it came up now and then. But in the last year—especially since joining the program—it’s showing up a lot more.

I often talk about the three Cs: competency, commitment, and character. The leaders I coach are high performers. They’re extremely competent, highly committed, very ambitious.

But when they’re facing tough decisions or struggling with judgment, that’s when we start talking about character.

I might ask, “What kind of courage would you need to act on that decision?” Or, “What would integrity look like in this moment?”

The depth I now have from this program allows me to guide those conversations more intentionally.

And I use the continuum a lot—because we all live on a continuum. Personality and context pull us in different directions, but it’s powerful to ask, “Where are you right now?”

For example, someone might think they need to be more courageous—but maybe they’re already speaking up too much, and it’s verging on aggression. Or on the other end, maybe they’re staying completely silent.

So using that framework helps people calibrate—not just amplify.

Corey Crossan [00.35.45]
Yes! That continuum of virtue and vice was the aha moment for me.

So often in development programs, people are told to “dial things back,” but that oversimplifies it. These are strengths we’ve worked hard to cultivate. The goal isn’t to suppress them—it’s to support them with other dimensions.

So like in your example—if courage is becoming too blunt, it’s not about losing your voice. It’s about adding humanity or temperance to balance it out.

That interconnectedness is what really sets this approach apart.

Adelle Wapnick [00.36.40]
It really is powerful. And it resonates deeply with the people I coach.

No one has ever said, “I don’t want to talk about character.” Quite the opposite—they lean in. They get it. And they see the value immediately.

Corey Crossan [00.36.52]
I love that.

So I do have one last question for you about your character quotient. But before we get there, is there anything we haven’t covered yet that’s been on your mind?

Adelle Wapnick [00.37.07]
I think we’ve touched on everything I hoped we would.

I’ll just add that I’ve found the Virtuosity app to be an incredibly useful complement to the program. In some of our breakout conversations, people have mentioned how surprised they are by how consistent they’ve been with it—even people like me, who don’t typically stick to daily digital tools.

And I think that’s the point—when something matters enough, you make time for it. The app has become an anchor for me, helping to embed the practice into my day.

For someone like me—who’s admitted to struggling with consistency—it’s been transformational

Corey Crossan [00.38.05]
That’s so great to hear.

And yes, we talked about this in one of our sessions—how the app is just a tool, a starting point. It creates that rhythm, that touchpoint. But the real development happens beyond the screen.

And I remember when we first started the program, you had a bit of a tech hurdle. Can you share a little about that? Because we often hear that tech can be a barrier for some people at first.

Adelle Wapnick [00.39.15]
Yes, I remember that!

I sit in the middle when it comes to tech—I’m curious, I embrace it, but I can also regress quickly when it feels overwhelming.

In the beginning, I found the app a bit daunting. But I pushed through. I told myself: Just explore. It won’t break. Tap around. Learn by doing.

And I found my own rhythm. One participant mentioned they use the app and then reflect on paper—that’s great, too. We all find what works for us.

For me, the shift came when I realized how important this work was to me. The tool didn’t matter as much as the process it enabled. Once I committed to that, everything else followed.

Corey Crossan [00.40.26]
That’s such great advice—just get curious, explore, and give it time.

Even tech is a habit. You’re not just building the muscle of character—you’re building the muscle of using the tool itself. And once that’s in place, it becomes second nature.

Okay, so let’s wrap up with your character quotient.

For those listening, this is a short assessment we created—there’s an article in Forbes explaining it—that looks at three things:

1.     Your awareness of character

2.     Your ongoing development of character

3.     Whether you’re embedding character into your systems or organizations

Adelle Wapnick, you completed the assessment. Would you be willing to share your reflections? What stood out for you—what are you proud of, and what are you still working on?

Adelle Wapnick [00.42.07]
Sure. So, I know that my transcendence and humanity are strong. That comes from my upbringing, and from the environments I’ve worked in.

I feel grounded in purpose, creativity, connection. I’m comfortable with those.

What I’m much more critical of in myself is temperance—and how it intersects with drive.

I move quickly. I’m expressive. I get impatient. I can be reactive when I care deeply about something.

My clients probably wouldn’t recognize this in me—I show up very differently in coaching. In that space, I’m grounded, calm, collaborative. I listen deeply.

But under pressure, or when my conviction is high, I lose some of that balance. At home especially, it shows. I joked the other day that my dishwasher comments make me sound like a raccoon on crack—I need things done a certain way, and I can be quite blunt about it!

So while I’ve grown in awareness and self-regulation, temperance is still something I’m working on.

I want to continue that journey. And the framework gives me the tools to do it.

Corey Crossan [00.45.30]
That awareness is so powerful. And one of the questions we ask in the quotient is: Is your character dependent on context?

What really struck me in what you said is that your coaching environment actually seems to activate your temperance and humility—two dimensions you feel are weaker in other parts of life.

It’s interesting to ask, what is it about coaching that brings out the best of those traits in you? And how can that be drawn into other contexts—like home, or personal relationships?

I did a short coaching course myself—not a certification, just a two-day intro—and I found the same thing. It really activated dimensions in me I don’t normally lead with, especially temperance and humility.

Because in coaching, you’re focused entirely on the other person. You’re listening. You’re asking, not telling. It’s a completely different orientation.

Adelle Wapnick [00.46.50]
Absolutely. And I think after many years of practice, something intuitive starts to develop.

When I’m in a coaching space, I’m not thinking about my own drive or convictions. I’m fully attuned to the other person and their complexity. And that requires judgment, deep listening, situational awareness—all of which are character in action.

It becomes about service. And when you're of service, it’s not about you anymore.

I think that’s what I love most about coaching. It takes me out of myself and into a space of true partnership. It’s incredibly rewarding.

And it reminds me that character, at its core, is about how we show up for others. Not just what we believe, but how we behave.

Corey Crossan [00.48.24]
That’s such a beautiful insight.

And I’m just realizing as we talk—we’ve spent a lot of time discussing how character can be used in coaching, but not as much about how important it is for the coach to be aware of their own character.

How you show up has such a profound influence on what you’re able to hold space for in someone else.

Adelle Wapnick [00.48.53]
Exactly. I think I’ve said everything I hoped to say. I feel really comfortable with where we landed. Thank you.

Corey Crossan [00.48.56]
Yeah, me too.

Adelle Wapnick, thank you so much for taking the time to share your journey, your wisdom, and your passion for this work.

It’s been inspiring to see how deeply committed you are—not only to your own development, but to bringing character into systems, coaching, and democracy.

I can’t wait to see what comes next for you.

Adelle Wapnick [00.49.26]
Thank you. It’s been a pleasure.

Corey Crossan [00.49.29]
You’ve just finished another episode of the Virtuosity Podcast. If you have questions or want to connect, reach out to me at corey@virtuositycharacter.ca. I’m also on LinkedIn — let’s connect.

As always, thank you so much for listening. Bye for now.